Britney Spears-bashing is back in vogue. The fusillade of criticism about her recent MTV Video Music Awards first targeted her performance, but then shifted to her “bulging belly” (exposed by a black sequined bikini).
While the subject of Brittany's belly has been a great Internet hit, an Associated Press article appealed to us not to forget that Spears is a mother of two -- and to refrain from holding her not-so-pristine abs up against a younger, never-pregnant benchmark (set by Spears herself – a decade ago).
As a mother, I feel compelled to respond -- on two levels.
First, I’m certainly willing to rally for a woman held up to a nearly impossible standard set for a 20-year-old (a super skinny Hollywood version, to boot). I don’t know any mother who does not, at some level, lament her pre-pregnant body. And I would love to live in a world where cultural expectations are appropriate for my 43 years and stretch marks.
But I don't. And neither does Spears.
So as a mother I support Spears, insofar as she doesn't deserve to be criticized for the shape of her body, any more than American Idol Jordin Sparks did. As to her choice of attire, for which she was harshly rebuked, again, I’d kill for the day when we’re free to be those women on the Dove commercials. To wear whatever we want, even our underwear, without fear of backlash from popular culture critics. We’re just not there yet.
But there's another level – the impact of all this on our kids. I imagine that, like me, many parents are wondering how their adolescent girls respond to screaming headlines like “Lard and Clear Loser,” especially when they're viciously heaped on a favored idol. Do our children absorb this hoopla as more "evidence" that thin is the thing and fat of any sort will get you clobbered by friends? Will they rush out to diet, becoming life-long customers of the better-diet-now mill? Will they learn that the world judges them based mainly on appearance?
I went one step farther than guessing. I read my 11-year-old daughter the AP article, and asked for her opinion about Britney’s experience. She said:
“I think people are jealous because they want to have that kind of body. They want to have what they think she has. They want to be her.I’m not jealous. I like my body the way it is. Maybe when I’m her age, I’ll change my mind. But not now.”
I cling to that “not now.” I add, hopefully, not tomorrow. And as her mother, I dream of the day when I could confidently believe: not ever.