When writing Lying in Weight, I listened to many stories of devastation and hope. I heard about relapses and slips, hard work and ultimate triumph. As I compiled each chapter, I imagined how readers would receive the stories, as I interpreted them.

My book tour, which ended a short while ago, left little to the imagination. I met people from all walks of life, gasping at horrific statistics, laughing at ridiculous thoughts, crying as they told me about their daughters, mothers, grandmothers, stepmothers, sisters, friends -- and themselves.

I met a 40-something mother in Boston who is, for the first time, getting help for anorexia; a teen from a therapeutic boarding school In New Manchester, Vermont who cried as she told me about her mother and sister (both have anorexia) and her fears of going down the same eating-disordered path; a young woman in Milwaukee who whispered to her boyfriend -- after I explained the five categories of men who partner up with women who have eating disorders. "You’re the rescuer kind," she said. And he grinned in recognition.

New Year’s Day, the first of the weight loss advertisements arrived: a press release for a new diet plan. Then came a flood of emailed anti-fat strategies; coupons for local health clubs; Google ads flashing “Lose 30 pounds in Weeks – No Diet.” And I haven’t even turned on the TV yet, where commercials for elliptical trainers, diet pills, and low-carb shake schemes will hold me hostage until I press the remote.

Forget weight loss and body sculpting. My New Year’s resolution is to learn how to eat normally. I’m not sure what exactly that is. Along with everyone else, I’ve been so indoctrinated with dieting and exercise tips, I’ve lost sight of health. But I'm not to be deterred.

Anyone who’s tried dieting has been lambasted with the concept of “willpower.” It’s a voice in your head that barks, “don’t eat this and that or you’ll get fat.” In the case of eating disorders, willpower also translates to willing yourself not to binge or purge or restrict.

That may sound like the right approach to healing. But if you think about willpower this way, healing is submitting to a punitive, parental force that tells you “don’t” when some other child-like part of you says "do." Maybe not such a good healing tactic.